What if I chose this?

{My yoga teacher suggested we use this simple phrase whenever we feel frustrated or stuck to shift our perspective}

I recently travelled to Columbus, OH to compete in the Women of the World Poetry Slam. It was 72 women from all over the world "competing" with their poetry. Is this absurd? Yes. Does it make any sense to assign numerical values to art? Not really. Do I love it? You betcha!
After the first day of competition, I was ranked 2nd! The only problem is that my hardest bout was yet to be had. I spent all of Day 2 trying to relax and detach from the competition aspect. I did savasana, I went for a walk, I practiced mindful cooking even. When it came time for that nights bout, I was really calm. I said a prayer in the rain and when I went up on stage I felt so truly centered. I performed my 2 minute poem better than I ever have. So well, in fact that I did not notice that my friend's hand was up telling me that I was about to go over time. I ended the poem, received huge applause and then found out I had gone .3 seconds over time! I was devastated.
I went to the back of the room and nearly cried my eyes out. I suddenly hated slam, I didn't understand why I did this to myself. I decided it was all about ego and I didn't need to subject myself to that anymore. I had one more poem to perform and I was such a mess, I didn't even want to go on stage. Then I remembered, "What if I chose this?" I love slam. No other absurd activity shows my my character flaws more than slam. It is easy to be enlightened when you are lying in savasana or your hands are in prayer in tadasana. But when you are out in the world, when you are trying to make the crazy aspects of our reality work for you, this is when your insides are truly on display. I chose to go to that competition not so that I can win, but so I could hear the incredible voices of women from all over the world. During this "freak out session" I was not even listening to the other poets and that is what I didn't like the most. I decided to go back to my seat listen to the other poets and when it was my turn, I performed the hell out of my poem. I received a 29.9 out of 30. No, I didn't win. In fact, I ended up in 17th place but I was fully present in my poems and I chose every single word that came out of my mouth and was grateful for it!
The poetry that I heard that weekend was astounding. The people that I communed with were bliss machines. I am so glad that I chose to go. I feel like this competition, maybe more than any of the others I often attend, is something that I hold so sacred. I can’t wait to see what it exposes in me next year.